Marvel has just announced that veteran actor Robert Downey Jr. will no longer don the red iron suit in the next Ironman movie. The Studio confirmed that Downey Jr. did not sign the renewal contract citing conflict in shooting schedule as the key stumbling block. The man that the whole world knew as the face behind the crimson iron plate will be busy in his new starring role as Indiana Jones, replacing the aged Harrison Ford in the hit series. Location shooting in Mongolia for "Indiana Jones and the Ghost of Halitosis" has commenced and will hit the silver screen around July 2016.
Marvel took this development as an opportunity to bring a twist to the character of debonaire and engineering genius Tony Stark. The Studio decided that they will reboot the series with a virtually unknown Asian actor, Cariv Catanduanes, from the archipelagic nation of the Philippines. The producers believe that this will open up Asia as the Blue Ocean for comic books-based movies, noting the rise in patronage in Asia of recent Marvel projects such as The Avengers and Ant Man.
Marvel Studios has rolled the dice in bringing in a virtually unkown actor. The powers-that-be in the Studio think that replacing someone as popular as Robert Downey Jr. with a popular name in Asia, the likes of Chow Yun Fat, has risks of appearing trite to the Ironman followers. The reboot will be like putting fresh ink on a clean slate, and everyone will be in for a big surprise. "This movie will hit the screens with a loud bang," one of the producers was overheard saying.The working title of the movie is Iron Man: Sons of Solomon. "The whole story is veiled in allegory", the Studio remarked. It is rumored that former UFC welterweight and lightweight champion BJ Penn will have a cameo appearance in the film as The Common Gavel.
Cariv Catanduanes is a method actor who hails from the Eastern part of the Philippines. He is a kung-fu practitioner and is fast and precise with a 1911 pistol and the local Philippine fanblade, balisong. He has starred opposite Asian petite powerhouse Zang Ziyi in the 2013 comedy flick, Crouching Grammar, Hidden Jargon, where they played the role of English teachers dueling in a badminton court.
I'm sure by now you know already that this is a joke. I hope you had fun!
